Resentment is a choice.
In the style of Ann Voskamp, author of, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, I’m posting this letter to my soul today. I hope you can relate. If you can and you want to talk about your experiences with resentment(s), leave me a comment and we’ll begin a conversation (but not here). If not, then just try to be a little more patient with yourself and others you hold resentment toward today. I believe patience and prayer fix a lot of what’s wrong in this world, along with love, so I’ll be moving in that direction in the days ahead. Just sayin’.
Some of what I’m about to write may sound narcissistic to you, or just plain weird. If it does, that’s okay, but if revealing how I’m processing this journey with Jesus will help even one woman to be stronger, the chance that others might misunderstand what I’m trying to communicate is worth the risk. We’re all in this together, right? Time we started supporting one another, warts, neurosis, and all.
Dear Daughter of Eve:
Thank you for serving yesterday. What an awesome hour of grace; you handled your part of it well. Thanks for sharing your gift with others. You always give your best and I appreciate that. Thanks for being vulnerable with your classmates. Thanks for studying up, showing up, and staying upbeat in those moments when we meet together. What an interesting discussion we had. I could have stayed for another hour, at least. I learn a lot from this group….from our discussions about spiritual things. Thanks for making this a priority.
I’m reaching out this morning to nudge you about that resentment list we talked about last week. Not to bug you, but to encourage you to do some writing about those things we discussed then. I’ve been thinking and thinking about the struggles we admitted to in that time together. Do you know that it helps me when I share my thoughts with you? It does. It also helps me when I’m dealing with matters similar to what we discussed last week to capture them on paper, so I want to recommend writing to you today. There are several ways I have written about my resentments in the past. I find that while it is sometimes helpful to talk about these things with others when I’m done writing, when I first begin writing my feelings are often raw and wild, so I like to keep them just between us. Later, when I’m ready, I share what I’ve written, or not. Whichever works best to bring me serenity and peace is the best course of action.
I write, because I find writing helps me to focus better on the exact nature of what’s going on with me. And because I’m not required to share what I write with anyone and my feelings remains anonymous, I can be completely honest. Yay, what a relief!
In the past, I have used all of the following styles of writing to help me work through resentments and periods of jealousy, that just happen to be my particular wart of choice, ugh.
When I struggle with resentments, I:
Write a God letter, making sure to “cc” Jesus.
Write a blog post, avoiding the use of specific names or circumstances, but addressing principles that frustrate me.
Write a poem.
Wrote a song.
Write an article for publication. I’m not the only one who fights resentment, it seems.
I have written a letter to someone specific, and then burned it or thrown it away, or shred it, or stomp it into powder; point being, I’ve destroyed it so as not to hurt others with “my stuff”.
Writing helps me, and its cheap therapy.
When I write, I get “it” outta my system. Writing also helps remind me that when it comes to troubles, there is a beginning and there will be an end.
Hallelujah for the end of troubles!
When I write, I’m able to better see where God is working in any given situation. Sometimes I don’t see that until I begin to write about what’s going on with me.
Finally, writing helps me realize my part in the situation, which is really the only thing I can change about any resentful feelings I have. I only have power over me. If I am contributing to or feeding the resentment, I can change course, and praise God for the pain and what it is teaching me.
I can praise Him for the experience and what it is teaching me.
Ann Voskamp is famous for her praising ways. It really does help.
Every day I have the choice to thank God for molding and shaping me in ways that will make me more effective in the future.
I can choose to express gratitude for Him putting me in situations that teach me humility and self-love, and how to be proactive.
I hope I have not overstepped boundaries by sending this to you today. Part of what God is speaking to my heart on a regular basis is that we sisters in the Lord need to confess our weaknesses one to another, and seek support from each other in order to heal and grow. You have helped me do that this past year. If I could help you now, it would make me glad of heart.
I care about you, and I can so relate to the resentment thing.
KNOW I am praying for you today and I love you. God will find a way for you, and when he does, peace will come with His answer.
Keep looking up.
Keep trusting Him.
Keep seeking that answer.
Don’t give up before your miracle happens.
God wants us women to be strong and stay strong, so that we have the strength to help others. Be strong in Him, and in prayer and asking.
He hears, He cares, and He answers.