10 Steps to Speedy Cleaning Success

We’ve all had those times when visitors stopped by unannounced.


Instead of screaming, pulling your hair out,  or getting into a knock down, drag out fight over hubs friends stopping by unannounced (only his, cuz you know we women don’t have friends who do such things), its better to develop a game plan and perform practice runs so you’re ready when the inevitable happens.

I ran across this article last Friday and thought it was pretty good advice for cleaning up while under the gun:  http://www.thriftyandchic.com/2014/03/how-to-fake-clean-house-for-those-last.html

Better, though, is my method. 

This is so simple, anyone can do it, but first pics of the dirty house…







Now the solution, in ten minutes or less (It took me five minutes, with my elf helpers.

Step 1:  Get a large bed sheet, or a couple twins if you have more than one hidey hole available to you.


Step 2.  Take that sucker, or suckers, out into the living room and lay it out on the floor.

Step 3:  Chuck as fast as you can chuck.



Everything that is not supposed to be in that room goes on the sheet.

Remember, the most important aspect of speedy cleaning is SPEED, so throw quickly.  Don’t doubt your decision-making at this point, and don’t ask questions.  Let your gut lead. You, chuck!


Sure, sure, you may lose some warriors along the way, and others may not understand your methods, but soldier on.

Step 4:  Pick up the four corners.  Put your back into it (or your elf’s back, as the case may be). Hey, someone had to hold the camera, right. Next, heft that satchel over your shoulder and start pulling to the closest closet or shower stall with a curtain for concealing dirty deeds.


He looks thrilled, doesn’t he?  Note how the dog is involved in every step of the process. He can’t carry much, but he’s all in as far as morale support.

You may have a high rise bed frame with space underneath where you can put additional junk–USE IT! Also, did you fill the oven yet?  That’s where my dishes went. Hey, some of them are breakable.


Note: Wet spot.  Yep, that’s them boots we’re working to hide. They are definitely going in the shower. No doubt about that!  Dog losing steam…


Now, here is the hard part–shove!


Doesn’t he look guilty? Never mind that, or the dirty, disorganized bathroom. We’re being real here, so a gal can’t hold back. That would be wrong.

Step 5:  Shove like you have never shoved before.

Step 6:  Cram, like you have never crammed before.

Step 7:  Conceal like you have never concealed before.

Step 8:  Hide, as if your life depended upon it. 

Do the same with every room in the house that your visitors are likely to “visit”.

Step 9:  Do it fast…

Step 10:  Do it furiously…

… and do it without regret.  You’ll be happy you did.



Did you notice how quickly those towels and jammies joined the party?  Excellent!  This job may be done, but there’s more you need to know about the overreaching process of speedy cleaning.

Some additional tips:

There’s always a hole somewhere in the back yard.

There’s always room for one more lamp, bowl, or chew toy in the car trunk.

There’s always a table that can be covered with one of those sheets (you know, the one you will now have religiously stowed away for a time such as this).  That sheet pulled over an end table or cardboard box can double as the perfect place to stash more dirty dishes or play toys, once the oven is full, of course.

And while you’re at it, cram a few magazines, old newspapers, stinky socks, and used hankies in there.  You’re gonna wash the dishes later, anyway, right?  Don’t mess around sorting now, just stuff.

In times like these, you have to get creative! 

It’s time like these that make me proud of my wiley ways.

With a lil bit of practice and a whole lotta protein in your diet, you too, can perfect the speedy cleaning process. 

So go on, get out there and make a difference. The clock is tickin’ and your first.practice.session.starts.NOW!

How do you speedy clean your castle?  Does the elf prince help you fill every nook and cranny with buried treasure?  Where is your best hiding hole?



2 thoughts on “10 Steps to Speedy Cleaning Success

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