I’m learning the importance of planning. Slowly, but surely, I’m learning!
Its easy for me to organize, and herd, and teach, and help others, but planning my food, having a daily food journal, counting calories and deciding what I’m going to eat before I eat it, and sticking to it–that is just plain hard work for me.
And I don’t know why?
I’m trying to get to the bottom of it this week. Trying to figure out why I am so resistant to the practice, or why it gives me so much problems.
Why I want to ride the range alone.
Why I can’t seem to find a mentor to help me with this problem.
Why, with lots of capable people around me who could be sounding boards and helpers, I find myself too proud to listen to them, or too stubborn to take their advice.
Am I alone in this kind of behavior?
Why do I want to keep my options open with regards to food and eating?
Why can’t I nail this down?
I say I want to lose weight and gain health, and be around for my kiddos and grands for many more years, but when I try to do what I ought to do, I fail miserably (at least with food planning).
I can so relate to Paul today, who said: I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. [Romans 7 wisdom]
Sin living in me is what makes me resist righteous change. Ugh!
This week one of my 3 tiny goals is: Meal plan one day, count calories one day, and count sugars eaten one day. Yesterday was the meal planning day and I did it. Yay, me. Today is the calorie counting day, we’ll see how that goes. Tomorrow is the day I count sugars eaten. Oh, Saints, pray, pray, pray, pray for me!!!
I know that He who is within is stronger than he who is in the world, but man, my inner food demons are active and strong. Oh, that it were not so…
How do you deal with habitually defeating “stuff” in your life? When have you struggled with a besetting sin, yours or one that clings to a loved one, stubbornly refusing to give up?